Scott and I worked at a rock radio station. He actually was hired to be my boss at a really rough time…people were jumping ship left and right. Shortly after he started, I quit on him with no notice (not because of him, because of management). He learned first-hand about the bad management and ended up at the same radio station as me a couple of years later. He and I became fast friends, and when I moved 500 miles away, his disastrous relationship was coming to an end and he wanted the heck out of Dodge…so he asked if he could crash on my couch. He did, and we stayed roommates for a couple of years until we both realized we had very strong feelings for each other.
Ten years later, Scott completely surprised me by asking me to marry him in an elaborate proposal. He arranged for a friend to hide a metal box with his proposal poem in it near an outcropping of petroglyphs that we visited two months later. He pretended to find the metal box and read the poem to me which ended in the words, “ask her to be your wife”. When I realized what he had just said, I looked at him and he was on bended knee with the most gorgeous ruby engagement ring! We married one year and 12 days later. We traveled as often as we could, including two trips to Europe (the picture is us sitting on the Spanish Steps in Rome).
Our marriage was very strong – we endured two rounds of Scott’s unemployment, the final round lasted two years – and we survived. Finally, a summer temping gig in my office (co-workers again!) helped build his confidence into getting a permanent job. Less than two months later, he and I were raking leaves when he collapsed with sudden, intense abdominal pains. A week in the hospital, another week of tests revealed cancer of unknown primary in his liver, lungs and pancreas. He died 8 days after that, two days before his first scheduled chemo. He took his last breath with me holding his hand, whispering over and over and over “I love you so much, Scott. Thank you for sharing your life with me!” The tears are still flowing. I miss him with every breath.
Dear Kim, I’m so sorry for your pain. What a beautiful love story you shared with Scott. The way your relationship built up from being coworkers, to friends, to partners – it’s no wonder you were so strong together. I wonder if he was “playing the long game” when he crashed on your couch. Did he ever tell you if he had a crush on you before he moved in?