On February 13, 2017, I said goodbye to my sweet boy, Wylie.
I didn’t know what to expect that day. I didn’t know what I’d feel, exactly, and what the process of putting him down would be like. This was new to me. I knew it was going to be hard, but I also knew it was time. He was ready to transition.
The morning went like a regular morning, except it wasn’t. It was Wylie’s last few hours on this earth. I felt a huge need to be busy, and to get things sorted. So I washed all his bedding and stuffed animals. He was too tired to play anymore. Too sick to eat treats. And although I sensed he wanted to know we were close, he didn’t want anyone too close. He was pretty clear that he needed his space to die.
His Big Nappy was scheduled for 1pm. At about 12:30, I set up an area in his favorite part of the yard with a blanket, his bed, flowers, some sage and a few other trinkets. Wylie laid down on his blanket and slept while I sang him a song.
He always loved when I sang to him. Every time, no matter how wound up he was, he would take a deep breath in and out, and settle into the sound of my voice. His favorites were Eidelweiss and Rainbow Connection.
I knew I needed to sing him one last song before he left.
This is one of the most intimate moments I have ever shared. I was hesistant sharing for this very reason. And also because it’s about dying. This is literally less than an hour before Wylie slipped into his final sleep. I was surprised at how beautiful, and peaceful this time was. I wasn’t scared like I thought I might be. It was sad, of course, but it was also kind of magical. It was a privilege to be with him as he died. And it was a precious gift to be able to sing to him one last time.
I know many of you have lost your babies or are caring for your sick and aging furry loves right now. I hope this brings you some comfort. That it makes death seem just a little less scary. Also, I just love Wylie so much and wanted to share his beautiful, wise spirit with you.
We’re all connected through rainbows in the sky.